


Blood and dirt

by Pebblesong7



Series: One Chicago Daemons AU [3]
Category: Chicago PD (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: 3x01, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Hurt Jay Halstead, Jay Halstead Whump, Mental Health Issues, Non Consensual Daemon Touching, Non-Consensual Touching, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, season 3 episode 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29143380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pebblesong7/pseuds/Pebblesong7
Summary: Some of the missing scenes in 3x01, from Jay and Kiton's perspective.
Series: One Chicago Daemons AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130984
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Blood and dirt

**Author's Note:**

> I'm experimenting a little with writing styles, if you have any criticisms or advice please let me know!

Conscious came back as a trickle at first. Jay let out a soft groan before he could stop himself, his head was throbbing and his vision was dark. Slowly the darkness began to fade and he could recognise the thrumming of a vehicle beneath him. His brain was foggy as he tried frantically to remember what happened, panic rising in his chest as he tried to move. His hands jerked against sturdy confines, held tightly behind his back, and his ankles seemed to be held together in a similar fashion. ‘Tape’ his mind helpfully supplied, and he huffed out his nose when he felt the rough material forcing his mouth closed. Now that he was able to shift around slightly more, he could see that he was in some kind of van. His heart almost jumped out his chest when he contorted his neck and made eye contact with the man behind him, who seemed to be watching with predatory interest. A low whine broke his focus and he saw Kiton, his maned wolf daemon, lying in a similarly awkward position. Tape enclosed his muzzle and forced his forelegs and hindlegs together. Jay felt a wave of disgust and horror that his daemon must have been touched whilst he was unconscious. He tried to wriggle closer to his daemon but the bindings wouldn’t allow it.

With a huff at the exertion, he manoeuvred himself so that he could take a better look at his captor. It was all coming back to him now, the deal going wrong, Derek Keyes shooting his own brother. The tingling feeling made sense now that he could remember the feeling of the cattle prod going in, thankfully it didn’t seem to have done too much harm just yet. With some difficulty, Jay was able to regulate his breathing around the tape, attempting to slow his frantic heartbeat. He made eye contact with Kit again, and the maned wolf had a spark of fear in his big brown eyes, but seemed to be doing the same thing. The man, Keyes himself, what an honour, finally spoke.   
“It’s good to see you’re finally awake.” He rose, balancing himself on the cold grey walls of the van as he made his way over to Jay. Jay was proud that he managed to avoid flinching when a cold hand came in contact with his cheek, a soft and threatening touch. The large black man shifted his grip to forcefully grab his chin, and Jay heard Kit let out a frightened whine in the background. Keyes smiled at the noise, a sickening joy lighting up his face, contorting his mouth into a grin. “I hope you don’t mind, but we have some… questions for you and your friend here.” 

For the first time, Jay noticed that Keyes didn’t have daemon with him, or at least nothing he could see indicated that there was one even there. Perhaps he didn’t have one at all? That would explain how he had been able to murder his brother in cold blood, not even flinching as he pulled the trigger. At any rate, it didn’t bode well for Jay, and he realised that he could feel his hands trembling just slightly behind him. Keyes let go after a moment, and walked over to the trapped Maned wolf instead, not making contact but hovering ominously by his side. Now the trembling was far worse. With a horrible gentleness, Keyes mimicked his behaviour with Jay and placed his hand on Kiton’s heaving chest, ignoring the wolf’s struggles. Jay couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling, he struggled against the tape but it was no use as a feeling of violation, of complete and utter helplessness dragged itself to the surface. When Keyes yanked the wolf up by his scruff, Jay almost screamed at the dreadful feeling. To his relief, Keyes only watched his reaction with determined curiosity before dropping the wolf. 

Before anything else could happen, the thrumming of the engine ceased as the van came to a stop. Jay felt cold, adrenaline spiking along every nerve in his body. When the doors opened, the bright light of the outside made his eyes sting, and in his moment of blindness he was yanked upright by hands he couldn’t see. To his relief they must have cut through the tape, as he was able to move his legs again and get his balance back.  
“I’ll get the daemon sir.” Jay tried to beg through the tape but it held fast, he was helpless to do anything as Kit was picked up again. Kit’s despair matched his, and he could feel the wolf’s horror and revulsion almost as strongly as his own. The whole ordeal was so overwhelming that he could barely even focus as he was dragged into a, admittedly very lovely, house. He tried for a moment to resist but the sharp pain of a punch to the face left him disconcerted again. He was thrown roughly onto a cold, rough floor. Whilst the situation wasn’t ideal, the man holding Kiton released the wolf and Jay almost sobbed with relief.

Suddenly, a knife was held against his throat.  
“You try anything, you die.” the blue eyed man didn’t even get the chance to respond before his hands were released from their bondage, his shoulders aching and strained. Remembering the threat, he didn’t react when his hands were pulled over his head and retaped so that he was dangling from chains that descended from the ceiling. His feet were able to reach the floor with minimal strain on his back, so he supposed as far as abductions went that could be worse. Another shudder ran through him as they forced Kiton into a collar that held him onto the floor, Jay begged that he didn’t fight back. He didn’t think he could bear the feeling of them touching him again. 

“So, let’s get properly introduced!” Keyes spoke with a manic kind of glee, and Jay stubbornly avoided making any eye contact with anyone. He was staring at the floor when the first punch made contact, the shockwave pushing his head aside and leaving his jaw aching. He only just held back a surprised grunt. “My name is Derek Keyes, care to tell me yours?” Jay jerked in his restraints, the chains rattling overhead. Keyes stepped forward and ripped the tape off Jay’s mouth. Jay didn’t say a word, he was determined to stay silent for as long as he could physically manage. Another punch came almost immediately, and Kit let out a strained whine. The man before him signaled to one of his friends. “Let's get this shirt off shall we?”

A controlled tug tore off a majority of the buttons on his shirt, and Jay couldn’t help feeling at least a little annoyed. He only brought that shirt the other day. The harsh sound of electricity behind him made him jump, and he couldn’t turn his head enough to see what it was. Presumably it was another cattle prod, this was very quickly going from bad to worse. The man removing his shirt had presumably gotten bored as he felt the icy feeling of scissors tear away at the arms until the fabric fell away, letting the chill of the room prickle across his skin. The sound came again, this time right next to his ear and he flinched away, much to the joy of Keyes. 

“Alright then, if we aren't going to play nice then you can at least tell me who sent you.” The henchmen were circling him like sharks. Then the first shock came, much worse than it had been in the airport. Agony flared through him, his limbs spasmodically jerking out of his control. His breath hitched in his throat and he thought he would suffocate. Then it stopped. Gasping for air, he felt his muscles twitching as his body tried to recover from the shock. Then the pain was back, ripping a shout out of him this time. It seemed to last longer this time, and the moment it ceased a flurry of punches seemed to hit him from every angle. For a few moments, he couldn’t uncloud his thoughts, he just existed in a world of pain. When he came back to himself, it could have been hours or just minutes. His whole body was already on fire in agony, the relentless shudders and tremors that he couldn’t stop made him want to sob.

Without warning, the onslaught started again, just as fiercely and just as painfully. He couldn’t help the grunts and shouts that came out of him, his arms being forced up didn’t help him catch his breath and spots began to dance in front of his eyes. He was sure they were just going to keep doing it until he passed out, before they stopped again. This time it took him a bit longer to collect himself. His wrists were burning, and he could feel small rivulets of blood trickling down his arms from where he had writhed. He didn’t even realise that his legs had given out underneath him until he tried to stand up, his knees buckling underneath him almost instantly. After a few moments, he was able to get his feet under him. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that Keyes looked almost impressed. That voice came back.  
“You’re gonna need to tell me who sent you, detective.” Jay tensed. “Yeah that's right, I know who you are, did you think I wouldn’t have people looking into you.” The black man began to circle Jay. “Now you could not tell me anything, and i’ll just get one of my men to livestream this,” he gestured to the tripod that was being set up next to him. The light wasn’t on, Jay presumed they hadn't started recording yet, but it wasn’t boding well that they planned to. “Or, you can tell me who to give this too, and we can keep this a bit more intimate.” Jay despised the soft caress on his bruised cheek that followed that sentence. 

Jay let out another scream, he was so focused on Keyes he didn’t see the henchmen edging closer to Kit. He had thought that it was bad enough to be shocked himself, but his daemon being electrocuted was a whole new type of fear and pain. His body began to tremble again under the stress, and he let out another hown of pain as a fist hit its mark on Kit.   
“Hank Voight.” He could barely draw breath when they stopped. He felt disgusted with himself for breaking his rule, but the absolute wrongness of his daemon being touched was unbearable. Through their bond he could feel that Kit was reeling and terrified, desperate to be closer to him and unable to even voice his terror. In the normal world, Kit would never stop talking. Keyes patted his face again.   
“See, now that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Jay spat at him. Keyes just grinned again. “Smile honey, you’re on camera.”

For the next few minutes, Jay was sure that he would surely fall unconscious, or perhaps he would die. The pain was too much, he couldn’t even cry out after a while. For a moment, he began to wonder whether it would be better for him to die, at least this pain would stop. He didn’t even know what Keyes wanted from him. Kit would let out the odd whimper of agony, and on occasion he was punched or electrocuted alongside his human. Jay was barely conscious when he realised that it had stopped again, too exhausted to even raise his head this time. He could vaguely hear keyes giving orders to one of his men. He felt like it must have been hours by now, but then again how would he know. 

For the next half an hour, the beatings came intermittently. They never allowed him the mercy of falling unconscious, and he couldn’t decide what was worse, when they hurt Kit or when they hurt him. Both seemed to be the only reasonable answer. It had all been done in complete silence, aside from his cries of pain and gasps for oxygen. He was covered in sweat, whether from pain or exertion he didn’t know, and he could feel bruises and burns littering his entire body. A particularly sharp blow to the knee had forced his legs out from under him, and he was sure he felt a finger break under the sudden pressure. He couldn’t find the energy to try and stand up again. He let out a low moan as they stopped again, pleading in his head that they would just kill him already, he barely even remembered who had taken him in the first place. He could faintly hear Kit still crying in the background, and it sounded like Keyes might be on the phone to someone. It didn’t really matter anyway.

Without warning, the chains holding him upright were released and he pitched forward, almost collapsing then and there, before several hands caught him. He was almost relieved to feel someone touch Kit again, at least the maned wolf was alive. His vision was too dark to be able to tell where they were going, but he could feel his sore feet being dragged across the floor. He tried to move his legs but the blow to his knees seemed to have done more damage than he thought. The attempt alone also made the people pulling him pause to deliver a sharp blow to his back. He didn’t try again after that.

Eventually they must have reached their destination, judging by how Jay was roughly thrown onto the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the men deposit Kit in an equally undignified manner, before they shut the door behind them and left. Jay couldn’t bring himself to move, aside from the occasional spasm, and he began to wonder whether he would ever be able to again. Part of him still believed that he would die, surely you can only survive so much pain. Even Kit was silent beside him, no longer whimpering or making any noise at all. They lay like that for a long time, until the slightest bit of energy ran into Jay. slowly and painfully, he was able to lift his head up just enough to get a better look at Kit. The wolf was limp, breath shallow and rapid. Streams of blood ran down from where the cattle prod had made contact, and Jay imagined he didn’t look much better. He tried to speak, but he couldn’t get himself to make a sound, aside from a low moan. The darkness came back into his vision, the timing of it was almost comedic. It offered a place away from the pain, even if just for a moment, and Jay gladly accepted. 

Consciousness came back much faster this time. The brunet had no clue how long he had slept for, but his thoughts were just slightly clearer now. Slowly and carefully, he drew himself onto his elbows, shocked for a moment by the blood running down his arms from his wrists. They were still taped together, but he could see raw wounds underneath the tape, dark bruises forming around the edges. With another moan of pain, he began to crawl over to Kit, who was still limp in the corner. Concern flared through him, until he saw that the wolf was still breathing. Eventually he drew close enough to touch Kit’s soft fur, and he shed a tear at the relief of it. The canine was roused by the contact, lifting his head with a small whimper and reaching to nuzzle Jay’s bound hands. They stayed for a moment, just glad to have each other. Jay reached forward and touched the tape around Kit’s mouth, he could see specks of blood where it had cut into his muzzle. His normally beautiful gingerish fur was stained with blood and dirt. Gripping the edge with all his remaining strength, Jay removed the tape as gently as he could, but that can only be so gentle on fur. It took some effort but he managed it, revealing the deep cuts on the black nose. The Chrysocyon let out a small whine at the pain, but seemed glad.   
“I was scared I'd never be able to talk again.” His voice shook and Jay pulled him close. 

After a few moments, Kit was able to sit upright, albeit shakily. He took Jay’s taped wrists in his mouth, and bit through the sleek material. It was painful to remove it but Jay couldn’t care less, grateful to finally have some freedom. After a few more minutes they were able to completely remove the tape on both of them, but the collar that had been put on Kit was held closed with a padlock. Neither of them were strong enough right now to be able to try and pry it open, so they left it for the time being. Jay finally got a better look at the room. It seemed nice enough, all things considered. There was a singular small window far too high for Jay to reach, he could see stars outside, and a small, thin mattress lay on the ground in one corner. There was no blanket but you can't have everything. Aside from that, the room was vacant, the wall’s white and the floor was made of wooden panels. Jay could see small splatters of blood, most of it his but some of it looked a little older. He preferred not to think too much into that. 

“What do you think they want?” he murmured eventually, and Kit looked contemplative.   
“Well we aren't dead, so they must want something from us.”  
“They recorded us for a bit of that I think, they must have sent that video to Voight by now.” His heart clenched at the thought of his team, and he quickly pushed the thoughts away. He couldn’t bear to imagine them being forced into doing something because of him, a deeper part of him was scared that they wouldn’t. “Can you see any way out of here Kit?” The canine looked around the room but made no move.   
“No, and even if there was we aren't going to get very far as we are.” He was right of course but it was still frustrating. “We should probably try to get some sleep.” 

The sound of a hatch opening made the pair jump, and a small tray was shoved through a tiny hatch at the base of the door. Jay decided it was best to not think too much about that either. There wasn't any food, but there was a bottle of water and a clean shirt. Kit reached for the tray and pulled it over with his paw, carefully sniffing at the items.   
“I can’t smell any poison.” Jay almost chuckled, reaching for the bottle and seeing that the seal was unbroken. It felt raw against his hands, especially when it jerked his decidedly broken ring finger, but he was able to get it open. Wordlessly, he drank half and offered the other half to Kit who gladly accepted. It was probably meant to last the night but neither of them could bring themselves to care anymore. Jay picked up the shirt and with a significant amount of pain, was only just able to get it on himself. It wasn’t much but he was glad to have the smallest amount of dignity back. There was no doubt that his PTSD was going to go wild after this, but for now he needed to focus on the little things. He couldn’t get to his feet, but he was able to drag himself across to the mattress, where he promptly collapsed. He felt the weight of Kit rest on his ribs, moving down to his thigh after Jay couldn’t hold back the gasp of pain. 

Jay didn’t even realise he had fallen asleep before the slamming of a door made him jolt awake. The pain came back to him all at once and he collapsed back down onto the mattress, shaking from pain. Good to see that the trembling is back, it does wonders for his tough appearance. Forceful hands grasped him by the biceps and yanked him to his feet before he could even react, and his hands were yanked back behind his back and taped together again. Somehow it was worse this time. He let out a shout of anger as they another set of hands pinned down Kit, attaching an animal catching rod to his collar. Jay tried to ask what was happening but another bit of tape had covered his mouth, and he let out an indignant grunt. They were half walked, half dragged down the hallway, at least Kit wasn’t being carried this time. 

Jay thought his heart stopped when he was pulled into what he assumed to be Keyes’ office and he saw Erin. Of all the people he imagined, it was not her, especially after the last conversation they had. Her chamois daemon Kobus let out a small noise seeing him, and Erin looked shocked. Jay would have been slightly offended but he imagined that he was probably looking worse than he ever had. He was reminded of the pain when he was pushed onto the sofa, Kit being shoved onto the floor, long legs slipping on the smooth ground. Erin was by his side in an instant, gently removing the tape from his mouth.   
“Erin,” he breathed. He couldn’t believe she was really there, this must be some kind of illusion, but her hands felt so real on his chest, so gentle and pleasantly warm.   
“Come on, i’m gonna get you out of here.” He believed her. Keyes didn’t seem so willing. 

He could barely even focus on the conversation that was happening between them, but he was aware enough to realise that things had gone sideways.   
“Do him first, make her watch.” Yep that's definitely not good, especially when he was dragged to his feet sharply. He made eye contact with Erin and realised she had a plan. The moment she gave the signal, he used every ounce of strength he had to headbutt his captor. He could hear Kit snarling in the background, and got a sick joy when he heard teeth hit flesh as the canine got the jump on the henchman holding him. He could hear fighting in the background but another punch to his gut drew his attention. He was thrown to the floor, and managed to kick away his attacker. 

Gunshots rang out as the man hit his head and collapsed. For a moment Jay wondered if he had somehow done that, but when he saw Erin things made much more sense. The woman was covered in blood, a gun trained on Keyes who had blood pouring out of his shoulder. It was a tense stand-off for a moment, before he reached for the gun and Erin shot him. With a thump, he hit the ground with a dull thud, and Jay couldn’t help feeling relieved that he must be dead. He made eye contact with Erin again, seeing her shaking, and he gave her a nod. She returned the gesture, before she opened the door and stepped out of the room. Jay was confused for a moment before he heard the distinctive voices of his team. Kit looked at him with joy.   
“I knew they would come for us!”

Jay knew there was no way he would be able to get to his feet with his hands tied behind him still, and he could feel that some of his wounds had reopened. He couldn’t tell whether the lightheadedness was from the blood loss or the shock, but he lay limply for a moment. Kit padded over to him, the sound of dragging metal following him, and dropped to the floor next to him. A shadow flitted over him and he saw Adam standing over him, a look of horror and guilt on his face.  
“Glad you could make it.” The joke was weak and he couldn’t get his voice to do what he wanted, but it seemed to comfort his teammate. Kevin arrived just moments after, and Jay felt quite uncomfortable under their stares. “Is someone gonna help me up?”

Gentle hands settled on his back and he couldn’t help flinching at the contact, relieved that his friends respected him enough not to mention anything. He felt Adam place his fingers on the tape, trying to see if he could get it undone with his fingers before giving up.   
“Does anyone have a knife or something?”  
“Here, use this.” Voight’s gravelly voice was simultaneously comforting and worrying for Jay, and he carefully avoided eye contact, instead looking at Kit, who was wriggling trying to get the collar off. Jay wondered how much of their ordeal his team had seen, and whether they would judge him for it. If it had been Voight, he was certain he wouldn’t have screamed like Jay had. 

The knife sliced through the tape easily, and Jay pulled the rest of it off when Kevin hesitated at the sight of the blood. If nothing else, the blood had stopped the tape sticking to him so well, and Jay was relieved that it came off slightly easier this time. The angry red marks around his wrists looked painful, and Jay could have sworn that for a moment he saw a glimmer of guilt on the teams face, even Voight. Jay tried to get to his feet but his legs buckled underneath him, Voight was the only one who stopped him from hitting the floor again. He still didn’t dare make eye contact but he was grateful for the sentiment. Kit had given up on the collar and wrapped himself around Jay, shivering with relief that it was all over. Jay was able to pull off the lead, but the padlock would definitely need a key. It was Alvin that passed one to him, and he blinked gratefully at the older man. The collar had dug into Kit's neck, his white ruff was matted with blood, but by this point it barely even stood out. 

With the help of Kevin and Adam he was able to stand up, determined to look as dignified as he could. Nobody mentioned the occasional gasp he would make, or the blood on both him and Kit. Jay made sure that he could always feel Kit’s fur brushing against him, he couldn’t bear the thought of them being torn apart again. The maned wolf in question was jumpy and anxious, not accepting any help from Struttavia, Adam’s honey badger daemon. Jay couldn’t blame him. 

It was a long and painful process but finally Jay felt the sun on his skin again. There had been a few moments where he wondered whether he would ever get that chance again, and he wondered whether it was the best feeling he had ever experienced. The ambulance was already waiting for them, but a fixed glare from Voight stopped him from complaining. It was going to be a long road certainly, but jay and Kit made eye contact, and they knew that they would be ok. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Ending was a bit rushed, let me know if you're interested in a follow up about the visit to the hospital.


End file.
